Independence

Independence, it's something I've been clinging onto ever since getting diagnosed with Ushers. It's been incredibly hard and I've had to change a lot of things to keep a hold of it, worth the change? Definitely.

Take driving, I love to drive, love love love driving, passed at 17 years of age and brought myself a little white rover metro with a choke and yet had remote locking. It was awesome and probably one of the best days of my life was passing my driving test first time. Since then I did a couple of off roading experiences which again were brilliant. Living in a village (nothing ever happens in a village) growing up meant that I had to rely on my parents driving me everywhere, anytime I wanted to see friends, parties and general social gatherings I first had to see if my parents were free to take me. Once I got my metro, named 'Lil Gem' I was free! Independence!!

About 2 years ago the DVLA told me no more driving. That was a truly rubbish day. I truly believed at that point that I had lost my biggest form of independence, which I suppose to an extent is still true. Since then I was allowed to have a disabled train card (⅓ off train fares) and a disabled bus pass meaning free travel on buses. First benefit: suddenly no more commuting costs, first negative: buses from the village leave only once every hour.

So what do you do? Well I moved out of the village, now I live in a town which literally is only a 1 minute walk to the bus stop. I work for the NHS as a secretary in Paediatric Audiology and as a result I need to get to 2 different sites. The bus stop right outside my home will take me to both of these sites in exactly the same amount of time - score! Free transport and quite a lot of ease. I still have crappy days when it's pouring with rain and the bus is running late but hey I'm being very green travelling by public transport.

So for the rest of the time I'm close enough to walk to shops if need be and if I need to travel by car I still have Mike who luckily loves driving and doesn't complain too much when I start backseat driving.

I hate relying on others, I love doing things for myself so one of my biggest concerns is continuing to do things for me by myself. Freedom. So other things I'm preparing for is getting around by myself for when my vision deteriorates even worse.

I recently met up with a social worker who mentioned that I'd be eligible for a hearing dog. Anyone who knows me knows I love dogs and what is a little bit crazy is that I work for a department that works with people with hearing loss and yet I have never ever before that moment imagined that I would be eligible for a hearing dog. I got in touch which they promptly replied saying the waiting list had gotten so long that you couldn't even be put on the waiting list till April 2011! On the positive side however they came back to me saying that due to my condition I might be eligible for a dual trained dog - hearing dog + guide dog! I may not be eligible and I'm still waiting to hear back about meeting both the guide dog people and the hearing dog people but the thought of possibly getting a dog to meet both these needs delights me. Even if it turns out I'm not eligible just yet, my vision is deteriorating so at some point despite losing my vision I can at least look forward to the time that I can get my very own dog to help me.

Till then I'm about to undertake training to use a cane and with the brightest torch I've ever seen I get around ok in the dark.. only the odd trip and bash into a wall or lamp post... and to suffer a little help at the cost of independence would be rather crazy so whenever a friend offers an arm I take that too. A little independence lost but a bit of personal experience gained, not too bad really.